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Welcome to our blog, where we comment on a wide variety of topics. Some of them relate to our line of work. Others are more far ranging.

Click and Clack

October 30, 2020

By Jim Rhodes

As I write these words, it’s the Friday before Election Day in the United States. To escape the endless and thoroughly depressing political chatter this weekend, I am planning to fortify myself with a dram or two of a medicinal beverage bearing an uncommon resemblance to Tennessee Sour Mash and indulge in a session of binge-listening to Car Talk radio reruns.

Car Talk was an iconic radio show that aired weekly for about 25 years on National Public Radio. The hosts were Tom and Ray Magliozzi. The format was nominally a call-in show with questions about cars, but it was really all about a pair of zany Italian bozos from Boston, who billed themselves as “Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers,” spinning wisecracks for an hour and laughing maniacally at their own jokes. In between, the brothers managed to offer legitimate advice to callers about their cars and repairs as well as occasional auto-induced marriage counseling or parental advice.

Sadly, the brothers act folded after Tom came down with Alzheimer’s and died in 2014, but the recordings still exist.

If you were a Car Talk listener, you know what I mean. If not, you have led a sadly deprived life, and my only advice to you is to go immediately to https://www.cartalk.com/radio/classics and rediscover the gift of uncontrollable laughter.

Being a word nerd, one of my favorite parts was at the end of each show when Ray would read the credits.

You know the drill. An announcer intones, “Our director is so-and-so, our producer is so-and-so.”

That’s when you take a potty break or head to the kitchen to pop open another beer. Right?

Wrong. That’s where the fun began.

The names were all homophones – a linguistic device in which two words or phrases are spelled differently but sound alike.

Here are just a few of them:

Our staff statistician is Marge Innovera.

Our customer care representative is Heywood Jabuzzov.

Our staff meteorologist is Claudio Vernight.

Our optometrist sponsor is C.F. Eye Care.

Our restroom attendants are Trudy Door and Donna Hall, and our executive washroom attendant is Eustace Stahl.

Our defense attorney is Justin Volk V.

Our PR director is Bea Esser, assisted by Lotta B. Essen.

Our seat cushion tester is Mike Easter.

Our accounts payable manager is Bill Shredder.

Our director of staff bonuses is Holly Unlikely

Our fact-checker is Ella Fynoe.

Our gas tank welder is Stan Beck.

Our personal makeup artist is Bud Tugli, assisted by Gladys Radio.

Our wardrobe advisors are Harley Fitzhugh and his brother Luke Howard Fitzhugh.

Our director of ethics and honesty is U. Lyon Sack.

The head of our working mother support group is Erasmus B. Dragon.

Our mother-in-law liaison is Stella Payne-Diaz, assisted by her husband Royal Payne Diaz, her daughter Sasha Payne-Diaz, her uncle in the army Major Payne-Diaz, her Swedish cousin Bjorn A. Payne-Diaz, and their recently discovered cousin in Poland, Zbigniew Payne-Diaz.

Our guest accommodations are at the Horshoe Road Inn.

And finally …

Our law firm is Dewey Cheetham and Howe.